Amy Winehouse makes me want to puke. What is the massive structure piled on top of her head? what IS it? What's living in it?And why does she also have to be jewish? She doesnt know the words to hava nagila, and she looks as if petrol or something equally greasy may spew from her mouth, each time she opens it. A river of petrol... or gasoline, as Americans might say. Or, Mcvomit, as George might say.

But what a voice! That's it, isn't it. Her voice is the river of petrol.. it just pours out of her.

Dear Santastein,
The GIJoe doll last year was super amusing. Good one. But seriously, this year could my Man please be present in my stocking? Yeah, i know i'm jew-flavour but i like doing the stocking. Be happy, im buying into your red&white version of christmas. So - back to business. I'd like for him to be an amalgamation of Oz in Buffy (perhaps he could also maybe look like, or actually BE seth green?) - he of the black nail polish, monosyllabicness and guitar strumming - George in Grey's Anatomy (messy, bumbling, sensitive, witty, wounded) Jack Johnson (for the lyrics and the woman-loving. Pesach in Hawaii? yes please) and lastly - Ray Lamontagne, he of the raspy voice - "..battered, bitter and beseiged, devastated and uncomprehending.." . C'est possible?

"Its so easy to get caught up in your own experiences," LaMontagne says. "They can seem so important. But there are billions and billions of other experiences going on. I guess the album is just me trying to look at things beyond myself, wondering what it is to be alive and what it's all about. I do get into my own experiences — I put the blinders on, in that sense, just dealing with my own life events. But then I try to open the blinders back up again, at the end."

The thing with shidduchim is, that I dont actually want to be one. I dont want to be someone else's success story, someones secure place in heaven. I want to meet someone in a Borders. We'll be browsing the same aisle, I think. He'll notice the pile of pseudo-intellectual books I'm carrying around with me and think "Interesting choices.. wow, good hair!"

The alternative, being set up, is often too grim to contemplate. It's disheartening, and increasingly humiliating. Not for me, seeing as I'm opting out of that whole scene, but for friends of mine who are going through it. People (and by 'people' i fully intend to imply frum women wearing sheitels) should be banned entirely from setting singletons up on the basis of "well she's frum, and he's frum, and they both have jobs". I am woman, hear me SHRIEK. Who does that?! London may be stagnant, but surely we can do better than that!

There are so many reasons to move, to get on the plane, to pack up my books, to leave behind the theatre and good shopping and afternoon tea and scones, best friends and seeing my nephews every Friday. But i want to have my own little ones! I want to find someone. And i need to move to even think about it. I'm imagining being able to go to the kotel whenever i want... will i go often enough, knowing it's just a bus ride away?

So much to think about, to worry about, be excited about. Will I survive this move?!

1 month tomorrow - 4 weeks tomorrow - 1 month tomorrow, I am MOVING TO ISRAEL!