So yeah, ok, a lot of people have been in my position. In olden times, I would have fondly been called Gooseberry. In times of yore, maybe 'the third wheel'. But we're not a wheelbarrow, so that just leaves me out in the cold. This ride, baby, is a bicycle made just for two.

It's not that I'm not happy for them, because I am. Would I lie, on my blog?! I was the one who encouraged them to explore what was obviously simmering just below the surface of their platonic friendship! Not that I regret it, as they are now blissfully happy, on a level I've never seen either of them experience before. Which is amazing. For two of my best friends, the search is over. The cyclical longing and wishing and disappointment that comes with being single - that's over for them, and I am actually genuinely relieved for both of them. Because it's not a great place to find yourself, in life. Simultaneously, my whole world has changed. Two months ago, I had two very good friends who brought out the best in me, who made me laugh in that real way you have with only your bestest. We three complemented each other wonderfully. The carpet's been pulled out from under my feet. They're cuddling under the tree and I'm out in the rain, with no umbrella. I explain it to myself using the analogy of a tiyul. You're walking this long, hot, dusty road, you and your good friends. It's taking ages, the sun is baking your back, at times you remember what a great life-adventure this is; and at other times you're just fed up, your back's hurting and you're really tired of it all. Suddenly, one of your friends spots a sign that says 'Sarah, Leave The Path Here' - and off she goes. The journey is over for her. One by one, people see their signs and hop off the beaten track. But you keep going. And going. Much as they remember how tough it was, they're putting their feet up in a comfy, cool rest place now and you're still trucking along, with no sign of your own in sight.

Beyond feeling excluded or sorry for myself, I'm angry. I'm angry with their togetherness.