I have a hole in my head. A tree grows in Brooklyn. And there's also one growing by my ear, it starts with the little hole in my head and leads all the way up to my right eye, with the risk of leaving me with a palsy. Scary as that sounds, now that they want to take it away, I'm not happy. There's a hole on the other side too, except that one doesnt lead anywhere. An entire tree is growing in the side of my head and it must be removed. I dont want it removed, even though it causes me a bunch of problems. I quite like the idea of it.
When I was little, I was completely taken in when my older sister told me that if I swallowed the pips from apples and satsumas, a tree would start growing inside me. I would sit at the kitchen table picturing it, sprouting from a tiny seed, being watered as I had my cereal and drank my juice, growing slowly every day. Would the branches need to come out of my ears? how tall would they grow? I can vividly recall placing my hands on my stomach, trying to estimate how my tree-pregnancy was going. It was bitterly disappointing to find out I'd been conned. There would be no tree. But it turns out, after all that, she was wrong. I do have a tree. It's uniqe, it's inside me. And now they want to take my party trick away. My uniqueness.

" Chop 'em down, chop 'em down..."

I always cry when I leave the doctors surgery. I have absolutely no idea why. I could go in for a cold and cough or chest pain, but i always get a bit teary when I leave. It's mainly because the only person there is to ask 'how it went' or what the doctor said, are my parents. And I'm grateful and appreciate that they're there for me. Too many people dont have that. And I love both of them, a lot. But there's nobody else to call. I emerged from the Specialists office, a diagram of my tree in tow, thinking of surgery and hospitals, feeling a little sorry for myself. I reached for my phone but realised there was really nobody to call. It's not significant enough to call this friend for, this one's away, this one's with her boyfriend, this one lives abroad, oh so does this one and that one and anyway what would i say? im having an operation, its in no way life threatening just a bit scary? I miss having a 'person' you can tell that stuff to. Who'll listen, just because its you and they love you. I'm 24. Where are they?