B'Tzad Yamin

A tree grew in my head there, now I have some whole tooth problem on the right side of my mouth. whats the story here? If I had to have some sort of 'belief' in alternative practices, then I 'believe' in the idea that physical problems are often symptomatic of a deeper spiritual problem.
I recently learned that breathing-related problems such as I have - asthma, being prone to chest infections - is, in a spiritual sense, down to some kind of relucatance to accept or taken in life. What does that even mean? Is it about foreign life - pregnancy? Or my own life? I sought advice from a person who I admire and trust, who wrote to me:

'In general – our ability to take in air is connected to our willingness to say YES to life in the body – with all that it takes. Sometimes deep fears from claiming your power in life creates these symptoms. '

If I 'believe' in these ideas, that minor physical problems can be pinned on something deeper, something uneasy in your soul or in your spiritual life, then I have to take on this advice. I need to address the ways I may not be 'claiming' power in my own life.
The person who gave me this advice, then recommended I go to a Rebirthing session. At first I ignored that part, the slightly scary/ridiculous part, that is. When I gave it some thought, I realised that the idea actually sits well with me. One school of thought behind psychotherapy recognises/adheres to the idea that adult behaviour/phobias/psychoses can be traced back not only to childhood - but even further back to the birth trauma. This may sound a little too spacy, but my birthing experience - obviously I don't remember a thing about it but as far as I know was quite straightforward - was a unique experience and event that occurred between myself and my parents. A special and unique experience - you will only ever be given birth to once!

My mother will always remember the details of each of her childrens' births, the stories before, how they reached the hospital, how easy or difficult our births were, peoples' reactions afterwards.. When my mother gave birth to me, my parents' lives changed, my siblings' lives changed, the pattern of many others peoples' lives changed in sequence.
Perhaps there are things my mum has never told me. Maybe it was a traumatic birth, maybe she had trouble in labour. Will knowing these things make me want to attend a Rebirthing session? I have to say no. When my mum flew back to London especially to have me, because she & my dad had put thought into where and how they wanted their 3rd child to be born, she did it out of love, out of love for children who were already born - she was giving them a sister - out of love for her husband, and out of her own very deep and special love for me, the child she had been carrying for nine months.

Maybe there ARE questions I need to ask, that may answer my guru's questions about breathing, life, my reluctancy to LIVE. I won't be taking my birth back. It would be re-writing a formative and once in a lifetime (literally) experience - and it would be rewriting a part of my parents' lives, without their permission. My love for them and belief in their good intentions in creating me, is a belief in something that ultimately outweighs whatever weight I have lent to the idea of finding a way to the place where guf and neshama kiss.

May Hashem bless both my parents, bless them with good health, long life, love, nachas from all their children and grandchildren, and happiness.. ad mea v'esrim shana.